The Dazzling Darkness
by RicksIlsa
Summary: Billionaire Gabriel Novak has a rare and heartbreaking disease inherited from his late mother. His half-brother, Castiel, is ready to help him make his transition to a world of darkness, but needs help.He finds Winchester Ranch, a Charity that trains service dogs to help people like Gabriel. It seems perfect, but will the well-meaning Winchester brothers who run the ranch...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, confession time... I started this story almost four years ago. I keep trying to use it as a Big Bang, but always end up dropping out because I lack the motivation to complete it. I am hoping that if I go ahead and post what I have written that the reviews and kudos will encourage me to complete it. In all of the many stories I have written, I have not had one pull from my soul the way this one has. I hope it will touch and encourage you the way it has me and that the perfect ending will come to me. WARNING- Blindness, alcoholism, and anti-Jessica Moore! If any of these things bother you, don't read. And if you do, don't comment. You were warned.

Special thanks to my beta, Crystal

* * *

The Dazzling Darkness

Chapter One : Gabriel

* * *

She had been washed, buffed, and waxed until she looked new. At least, that's what the guy at the car detail place had said. To Gabriel, his cherry red 1969 mustang convertible was little more than a car-shaped red blob. It could have all kinds of small dents or scratches and he would never know.

 _The Red is wrong._

The thought came out of nowhere and he had to push down the panic that accompanied it and take a deep breath. He could do this. He had to! Because if he couldn't, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

"We should take a picture, so I don't forget..." he muttered to his brother who huffed in what was meant to be annoyance, but Gabriel could almost feel the waves of sorrow and helplessness coming off of the younger man.

His brother was the only family Gabriel had left. Castiel was actually his half-brother. They shared the same father not the same mother, which meant Castiel would never have to go through this...

He shook his head and reached for the keys. It took two tries, but he eventually got them out of the hand of the guy who had detailed her. Gabriel knew the guy was probably giving Castiel a concerned look, but his brother just shook his head.

Gabriel ran his hand along the smooth, glossy surface of the car, committing the feel to memory. Sounds and feelings were the only things he could take with him. Besides, if he tried seeing too much he was just reminded of how wrong the colors were, and how close that darkness that had been chasing him for the last decade was to catching up to him.

Castiel allowed him to slide behind the wheel and savor the moment before sliding in beside him. Gabriel knew his brother was trying not to be too obvious about how close he had to sit next to him, but any observers would think they were lovers and not brothers. Gabriel didn't care. Though neither brother said it aloud, they both knew this would be the last time Gabriel would ever drive.

They took the long way, traveling well under the speed-limit until they got out of the city limits where the roads were clear, tall pine trees dotted the landscape and the speed-limit was almost non-existent. Castiel's leg pressed right up against his, ready to break if needed, blue eyes vigilant on the open road looking for obstacles Gabriel would miss, one hand lingering near the steering wheel, but not touching it.

Gabriel let out a whoop and pushed the gas pedal to the floor, delighting in the roar of the engine, the wind in his hair, and the sound of his brother's startled, yet joyful laughter as they careened down the road. He stubbornly pushed all reminders of this being the last time out of his mind and allowed himself to bask in this last bout of freedom.

Two hours later they reached their destination. It was inevitable, and he'd known for weeks now that this moment would come, it didn't stop the tears though. He parked in front of the medical office building and sat staring at the blurry steering wheel that blurred even more as the silent tears fell. Castiel squeezed his shoulder and pushed a tissue into his hands before slipping out of the car.

Gabriel allowed himself a moment to grieve, but just a moment. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose and joined Castiel outside.

He whispered a quiet 'thanks' and bumped his shoulder against his brother's.

"Mister?" a young voice called out.

He turned toward the sound and a young man that smelled of stale sweat walked up to him holding some kind tool in his hand. Well, it could have been a weapon for all Gabriel could see, but the voice had been respectful so he sensed no danger.

"Can I clean your windshield for you?" He asked, hopefully.

Gabriel frowned, "I just had it detailed."

Castiel chuckled. "You just got it dirty again," he explained in his deep gravely voice.

Gabriel huffed and shook his head then turned to the kid. "How much?"

"Five dollars."

Gabriel nodded and pointed up at the building. "I have an appointment, but I'll pay when I get out."

"No hurry. I'll be here for a while," the kid said, getting to work. Gabriel tossed him the keys. Do the inside too and I'll pay you twenty," he said.

"Yes sir!"

Gabriel turned and placed a hand on his brother's elbow so that Castiel could lead him into the building. He could probably manage on his own, but as his eyes were swollen from crying he decided not to risk it. He didn't want to fall and break something.

"Are you sure handing the keys over was wise? He looked homeless..."

Gabriel snorted. "What's the worst that can happen? He steals it? It's not like I'll be needing it anymore."

"It's in really good condition, Gabriel. You could probably get a lot for it," Castiel pointed out.

His brother was really just making conversation though. The truth was that as the only surviving members of Novak family, they had inherited a fortune. They had more money than they would ever be able to spend in their lifetimes, not that Gabriel hadn't tried.

It had been almost ten years since he began to suspect that he had inherited a degenerative eye disease known as Retinitis Pigmentosa. His mother had had the affliction, so he had known that there was a possibility he could have it as well. The symptoms started with peripheral and night vision issues and slowly progressed until all sight would be gone. His mother had died before she went completely blind and in his darkest moments he envied her that. It had started with headaches and vertigo for him. His mother had been diagnosed when she was fifteen. Gabriel had thought he was safe when he made it to his twenty-fifth birthday, but then the symptoms started.

Afraid of what the symptoms meant, he had thrown himself into the party scene. The best hotels, hot meals, and hookers that money could buy. He gambled away over a million dollars, over-tipped valets, waitresses, and masseuses. All of that still didn't put a dent in his bank account, but it didn't matter. All the money in the world could not stop the darkness from taking over his sight. The anxiety became so bad that he drank like it was going out of style just to get some sleep, but stayed away from hard drugs as he was worried about the effects they might have on his slowly dwindling vision.

Six months ago he woke up in a hospital with alcohol poisoning, Castiel by his side. He hadn't done more than talk to his brother on the phone a few times in the last ten years and was surprised to see him. Then the doctor came in and gave him his official diagnosis. Gabriel had been pissed.

"Really doc? Is it standard to check for genetic eye disorders when a patient is brought in for drinking too much?" he had demanded, glaring at the pitying look the doctor had given him.

After the doctor left, Gabriel had raged at Castiel. He yelled, threw things, caused several thousand dollars of damages, or at least that's what the hospital's attorney had said. Castiel took it all silently and when Gabriel had finally fallen to the floor, too exhausted to even cry, had wrapped his brother in his arms and just held him.

Gabriel had gone home with Castiel then, allowing his younger brother to take care of him. He still drank quite a bit, but the partying and hookers had stopped. Gabriel spent most of his time watching the plasma television. Stupid old movies, vibrantly colored new shows that were made to be seen in HD, and some home videos of when they had been children and had their whole lives ahead of them.

Castiel tried to get him out, and occasionally would succeed in weekend trips to a beach somewhere. Gabriel had no interest in dating though, and was surprised to find that Castiel didn't either. His brother admitted that he didn't feel attraction the way most people did and it had been a very long time since he had crossed paths with anyone who he felt worth the time to get to know better.

Gabriel had called him a snob, but had enjoyed contemplating his brother's issues. If nothing else, it let him think about something other than himself for a little while.

Gabriel had turned thirty-five two days ago and was about to take the monthly eye exam that would tell him how much percentage of sight remained in each eye. Last month it had barely been enough for him to keep his driver's license, and he knew it had gotten worse since then.

An hour later he walked out of the building in a daze. Castiel remained silent, but would occasionally give his arm a slight squeeze reminding him that he was not alone. Gabriel was too lost in his own thoughts to appreciate it though. He had been right, the doctor had told him that he was now legally blind and would be unable to drive.

For whatever reason, it was this one thing that suddenly made everything real.

"Cassie, why don't you go on to the restaurant? I'll just pay the kid and meet you there in a few minutes," he suggested.

Castiel tensed. "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Gabe."

Gabriel pulled his arm away from his brother and tried to give him a confident look.

"It's just down the sidewalk, no streets to cross. I'll be fine. Please, Cassie. I need this," he pleaded.

Castiel sighed and nodded. "Alright. You've got five minutes, but then I'm coming to look for you," he warned.

"Ten," Gabriel said raising and eyebrow in challenge.

"Okay, ten then," he agreed and walked away.

The kid approached him slowly.

"All done, Mister," he said, waving a hand at the car proudly.

Gabriel pulled out his wallet and paused when his fingers brushed the paper that was not money. He quickly remembered what it was and tilted his head at the kid speculatively.

"How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen, Sir."

Gabe nodded. "And do you have a car?"

The kid shook his head.

"No. I got my driver's license though. Dad has a car and I take it to get groceries when we have the money... when dad actually goes to work," the rest was said with a bit of resentment.

Gabriel pulled out the paper, which happened to be the title of the car. He asked the kid his name and with only a little difficulty thanks the bright sunshine, signed the car over to him.

"You do what you want with it, kid. I'd recommend selling it and getting away from your dad. Go to college or something, but that's your choice," he said, handing the paper over with one of the bills from his wallet. He didn't carry twenties, and hadn't received change for anything in a very long time so it was most likely a hundred dollar bill.

"Mister? Why would you give some dirty kid you just met a car?" The kid asked in awe.

Gabriel shrugged. "I don't need it. Might as well give it to someone who does."

And with that Gabriel turned and headed to the restaurant, the loud 'thank you's' of the kid following him.

* * *

Gabriel wore a small smile as he casually strolled down the walk toward the restaurant. The sun was shining brightly overhead, illuminating the passersby and he could actually see the smile on an old man's face as he nodded at Gabriel.

He reached the restaurant and went inside. For a terrifyingly blind moment he stumbled in panic, catching himself on the wall, and squeezing his eyes shut. When he opened them, he let out an audible sigh of relief as his vision, poor though it may be, had returned. It had been so bright outside and was so dim in the restaurant even someone with healthy eyes would have needed a moment to adjust.

There was no way he would be able to recognize Castiel though, so he moved to the center of the restaurant, hoping his brother would see him. He did pick out Castiel's deep voice and turned in that direction.

Castiel was talking with a couple of people. Gabriel made his way over to them.

"This is my brother, Gabriel. Gabe, this is Mrs. Tran and her son Kevin," Castiel introduced when he arrived.

Gabriel tried to keep the surprise off of his face. It wasn't like Castiel to strike up conversations with strangers. Suddenly, something warm and furry brushed up against his leg and he only barely managed to hold back a squeak of surprise. They had a dog with them.

"They were just telling me about this special program that Kevin is involved with through his high school. They raise and do basic training for dogs that will eventually become service dogs," his brother explained. Gabriel could hear the excitement in his voice but didn't quite understand.

"Service dogs? You mean like for the military or the police?" He asked.

"Well, we actually do it for Winchester Ranch. They train dogs to help people with disabilities. If you qualify to be part of the program, you get to take a puppy home. We meet three times a week at the ranch to learn how to do basic dog training like house breaking, sit, stay, heel, etc. At the end of the year we are tested with our dog to determine our grades. The dogs then go on for additional training with professionals to get them ready to help a disabled person," Kevin explained.

Gabriel now understood why Castiel was excited.

"Well, that's great kid. It was a pleasure to meet you both," he told them, knowing that he sounded slightly annoyed but couldn't help it.

"C'mon Cassie, let's eat already," he insisted and tugged at his brother's arm.

"Thanks for the card, Mrs. Tran. I won't keep you from your lunch any longer," Castiel said and took Gabriel by the arm to steer him toward a booth in the back corner of the restaurant.

"Gabe..."

"No. End of discussion."

Castiel huffed, but let the subject drop.

The booth was beside two windows that had the blinds shut tight. His brother opened them and Gabriel sucked in a breath. The natural light hit his brother's deep blue eyes, making them sparkle.

It was the right Blue. A Blue he had missed. A Blue he would miss again.

* * *

The house was nice. It was a new, one-level with large ceiling to floor windows that let in as much natural light as possible. Almost every light bulb in the house had a dimmer switch and Gabriel enjoyed having so much control over the lighting. The furniture was sparse and spread out with wide aisles and walkways that would make maneuvering around them much easier. It was also a two minute walk from Castiel's house that had nothing but an empty grass field between the two. Already Castiel was having a path filled with concrete and a metal railing erected that could guide Gabriel quickly to his brother if the need should ever arise. Even in complete darkness, Gabriel would be able to make it without hurting himself. It was the best compromise the two brothers could come up with.

As much as they loved each other, they were both used to living alone. With each passing week Gabriel's sight diminished a little bit more and he was losing more and more independence. At least now he could have his own space close enough to his brother if he needed help.

"The kitchen is stocked, the cleaning lady will be here on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday starting out. If it needs to be more often we can increase it..."

"I'm sure it will be fine, Cassie."

Castiel paused just looking at him for a moment. "I should stay tonight in the guest room."

"No."

"But Gabe..."

"No. I have to do this myself. It's important to me," he pleaded and smiled at his brother's defeated sigh.

"Fine. You have your phone?"

Gabe nodded, and pulled it out of his back pocket.

"Keep it on you at all times," Castiel said.

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, mother."

After a few pointless reminders and platitudes Castiel finally left.

Gabriel made his way to the kitchen and was able to microwave a frozen dinner, eat it and clean up after himself unassisted.

After that, he wasn't sure what to do. It was summer time so all of the good TV shows were on hiatus and to be honest he had watched so much television in the past six months he was kind of tired of it. His eyes were too bad to read more than a few sentences and he hadn't learned braille... yet. He poured himself a glass of wine and very slowly made his way through the house. The first of the three bedrooms was his, the second was the guest room, and the third was an office/storage room.

He figured it was the perfect time to go through some old things and decide what he wanted to keep. Most of the boxes were filled with photos, trinkets, and mementos. He quickly found that wine plus memories made for a very depressing evening. The last thing he found before giving up on sorting was his old easel, some blank canvases and acrylic paints.

In high school he had an art teacher who encouraged his painting. Once he realized that he probably had the same eye affliction as his mother, Gabriel put the paints away and tried to forget them.

He finished off his wine and set up the easel with a blank canvas. He mixed the paints as well as he could in the darkening light and tried to recreate one of his favorite memories with the paint. A beach trip his family had taken when Gabriel was twelve and Castiel was ten. It was the last vacation that their entire family took while everyone was still alive and well. Gabriel had awoken before the dawn, wanting to watch the sunrise from the beach. It was the most beautiful and amazing thing he had ever seen.

The brilliant sight of dawn's first light caressing the aquamarine waters and casting colors of gold and pink across the sky was something he never thought he could forget. But he suddenly couldn't remember the blue correctly. He just knew that the blue paint he mixed was not right.

 _It's the wrong Blue._

The thought led to an involuntary shaking. Gabriel stumbled through the new house, completely forgetting where everything was. The wide walkways and lack of clutter were no help as Gabriel still managed to bruise his shins and trip on unseen things. He made his way to the liquor cabinet and drank whatever was within reach until the shaking stopped.

Gabriel was awakened the next morning by Castiel slapping him so hard he was sure his brother's hand print would be forever indented into his face. Castiel was terrified and furious, sobbing like Gabriel was dead. Bewildered, Gabriel looked around and tried to focus on the blurry mess that was once a pristine house. Hangovers always did make his vision worse.

His canvas had been painted completely black and there was paint and debris everywhere on the walls, floors and furniture.

"Sorry, Cassie. Yesterday was tough, I drank too much... I didn't even know what I was doing..."

Castiel pointed a trembling finger at an empty bottle of sleeping pills on the bathroom sink and a half-empty glass of water next to it and Gabriel gasped as he remembered that moment from the night before.

"No, Castiel! I would never... I didn't... I dumped them down the sink!" He insisted quickly.

Castiel looked at him, eyes filled with a hurt that the bright morning light illuminated to even his hungover blurred vision.

"You thought about it."

Gabriel hung his head.

"Yes. For a split second I thought it would be easier. It was a weak moment, Cassie. And the thought left as fast as it came. Even as down and drunk as I was I couldn't go through with it. I was just... I am just scared," He confessed.

"Me too," Castiel said and they held on to each other and cried.

End Chapter 1

* * *

A/N: Chapter two will be posted this weekend, unless I get so many reviews I justt can't help but post early...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:Wow, the response to chapter one was so awesome, it's got me worried that this one won't live up to it. But here it is anyway. It's all Sam pov, and gives you the bulk of his history. I must warn any die-hard Jessica fans that she does not come off as a great person. My personal opinion is that this is the most correct view of Jessica in canon. I mean, there is a reason they had to kill her off in the first episode to make the show work. So you have been warned...

*So, for some reason I cannot make the past scenes Italic. I've been trying for the last hour and am now too tired and bored to care. If you have any questions regarding when a scene happens (or anything else) just let me know. You can always head over to AO3 search Author Ilsa and read the correctly formatted version if it bothers you that much.

* * *

 **The Dazzling Darkness**

Chapter Two: A Dark Past

"Sam, your four o'clock is at the gate," Becky called from her desk just outside of the office he shared with his brother.

Sam sighed and rubbed his eyes. He wished he had put his foot down about not working today. The anniversary of their father's death always hit them hard and the best place for he and Dean to spend this particular day every year was at home... or in a bar. But Dean had insisted that business continue as usual and that they would take time to remember their father after they closed up for the day. So Sam had allowed his assistant Becky to schedule meetings with potential donors. They really needed more donations to satisfy their budget demands for the year, otherwise Sam would have blown it off for the day.

In typical Dean fashion, after demanding they work, he ended up not coming in. It was just as well though. Dean wasn't great at dealing with potential donors. His brother didn't like asking for money and he took every criticism of their company personally.

Unconsciously Sam's eyes fell on the framed photo sitting on the desk. The one of him, Dean, and their father taken just before the accident. It was the last photo of the three of them when they were all whole. The last photo of their father with his deep brown eyes. Every photo of his dad after that showed badly scarred milky bluish white eyes that proclaimed his blindness to the world.

A drunk driver had hit their car leaving Dean with a few broken ribs, Sam with a concussion, and their father blind, without the use of his right arm, and with a noticeable lack of cognitive function. Sam had been fifteen at the time and had watched his brother sacrifice his plans of going to college in order to work two jobs to keep up with rent payments, food, clothing, and medical bills. Sam still wasn't sure how Dean managed for almost three full years before the lawsuit was finalized and they received payment from the other driver's insurance company.

Two years after the money came in, their father died. Sam still wasn't sure of all the details surrounding his death, and to this day he was afraid to ask. After all, Sam hadn't been around then.

Sam had felt stuck in a life where he was obligated to follow the path that Dean had set for him. And then he met Jessica, and everything changed.

* * *

 _"C'mon Sammy! You can't just leave us like this! Dad and I need you," Dean begged._

 _"No Dean. You and Dad will be fine without me. I deserve a chance to live my life!" Sam insisted as he tried to keep his argument straight in his mind._

 _"And I don't?"_

 _"It's not my fault that you chose this life," Sam argued._

 _"Chose? Sam, I dropped out of school and worked two jobs to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. If I had left then you would have been put in the system and Dad would... Dad would probably be dead."_

 _Sam had known Dean's side and he hated hurting his brother, but he had to go. He had to._

 _"It's her isn't it? That Jessica chick has you wrapped around her finger," Dean accused._

 _"No, it's..."_

 _"Yes it is. You had no interest in being a freaking lawyer until you met her. You were going to go to KSU to be a vet. We had a plan, Sammy! We were going to help people like Dad. And then you met that bitch and suddenly it's 'Stanford' and 'law school'."_

 _"Don't call her that!" Sam growled._

 _"I didn't really like her when we first met, but I could tolerate her for your sake. Even after she changed everything about you..." Dean continued on as if he hadn't heard Sam's response._

 _"What? No she didn't..."_

 _"Yes she did! Everything from the way you dress to the food you eat. Did you even apply to KSU? No, of course not. It wasn't on her list. You won't even watch Star Wars with me anymore because she thinks it's too juvenile."_

 _Sam had no response to that, because it was partly true..._

 _"And now she's making you leave me... I mean, us."_

 _"No, I'm leaving to go to college. It has nothing to do with her," he insisted._

 _Dean huffed but stayed silent._

 _"Jess said that if you really loved me, then you would let me go."_

 _Dean shut his eyes and took a deep breath. When he finally looked at Sam, his green eyes were full of unshed tears._

 _"Yes, I can imagine that Jess would assume my love for you was conditional."_

 _Sam felt a lump form in his throat, but stayed strong._

 _"Dean..."_

 _"We're done here, Sam. Get outta my sight."_

* * *

Dean had been wrong. Jessica hadn't really changed Sam, she had merely shown him that he had a choice and that choosing against Dean wishes would not make him a bad person.

All he knew was that Dean had used the rest of the money to set up Winchester Ranch. He ran it for a year by himself before Sam came home to help... Or rather, Dean had brought him him back home after Sam's life had fallen apart. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to recall that horrible day five years ago...

* * *

 _Sam sat in the waiting room at the county hospital, staring blankly at the floor. A scratchy wool-like blanket had been thrown across his shoulders by a caring nurse, but he barely registered it. His whole life had fallen apart in the blink of an eye. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't process what had happened._

 _Jessica had been at the kitchen table studying like she usually did on Sunday nights. Sam had been hungry, but hadn't wanted anything they had on hand. It was supposed to be just a quick trip for some Jack-In-The-Box tacos from down the street. Jessica hadn't wanted to go with him, but insisted he bring back at least two for her._

 _Sam had pecked her lips, grabbed his keys, and headed down the street. Not even a full five minutes had passed before he heard the sirens. The smell and proximity of the black cloud of smoke had him turning back home before he could even place his food order._

 _The entire apartment building was engulfed in flames when he returned. The firefighters were running around shouting out commands to each other, and though Sam was told several times to stay back, he was able to slip by them and run into the burning building._

 _The apartment he shared with Jessica was on the third floor, but the stairs had already been destroyed. He watched in horror as the building began to fall around him._

 _Hands grabbed him and yanked him outside. Every breath hurt and he couldn't speak without having a coughing fit._

 _Smoke inhalation. They told Sam how lucky he was to be alive and how stupid it was for him to run into a burning building._

 _"Jess," was his whispered explanation and he could see pity in the paramedic's eyes as she held an oxygen mask up for him to breathe into._

 _Almost two days had passed. He had been officially discharged, but had no where to go._

 _"Oh, your brother will be here soon," the nurse had told him as she handed him paperwork._

 _"My bro-brother?" He'd question, feeling his breath catch. He was racked by more coughs as she nodded and patted his back._

 _"Yes. We were unable to reach your emergency contact..."_

 _"Probably because she's in the morgue," he bit out angrily._

 _The nurse gave him a strained look._

 _"I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Winchester. The paramedics found your school ID when you were unresponsive and we went through them to get your closest living relative. I spoke to Dean Winchester myself. He did seem... surprised, but agreed to come right away."_

 _Sam swallowed and looked away._

 _"When was the last time you saw your brother, Mr. Winchester?" She asked, looking a bit more compassionate than she had before._

 _Sam sighed and shook his head._

 _"You can call me, Sam. It's been three years, and it wasn't a friendly parting. I don't... I don't know how he'll... To be honest, I'm surprised that he agreed to come," Sam admitted, feeling the tears he had been holding back sting at his eyes._

 _"Sometimes it takes a tragedy to mend a broken relationship," she said, shrewdly._

 _Sam frowned. "So, look at my girlfriend's death as an opportunity?"_

 _She shrugged and pointed out his post discharge instructions on the pamphlet._

 _"Good luck, Sam."_

 _An hour later, Sam's eyes closed when he heard the roar of the Impala. Dean had arrived. He must have driven straight through the night to get here so quickly._

 _Sam took a deep breath and got to his feet. He braced himself unsure of how this reunion would go. He wasn't sure he could handle Dean being smug about Jess's death._

 _The automatic doors slid open and Dean walked in._

 _It had been three years since Sam had seen Dean, but it looked as if his brother had aged ten years. Sam was surprised by the flood of guilt he felt at that. Life with their father had obviously been a struggle for him._

 _As soon as Dean's eyes fell on him, the tiredness vanished from his face and he ran to Sam. The warm, protective embrace of his big brother made Sam feel like a kid again: safe, protected and cherished. Something he hadn't realized he missed til that moment._

 _"Oh, Sammy. I'm so sorry," he whispered, hugging Sam tighter._

 _Sam couldn't speak, just buried his face in Dean's shoulder and cried until he started coughing again._

* * *

When they got back to Kansas, Sam had thrown himself into working at the ranch, determined to redeem himself to Dean.

It had been Sam's idea to solicit funds from charitable organizations as there was no way they could stay afloat financially and still offer their services to the less financially fortunate which was the main purpose for the ranch anyway.

"Sam? He's waiting!" Becky called again pulling him back to the present, and he stood buttoning his suit coat with a sigh. Just one more meeting and then he could go.

He left the office and was immediately accosted by his eight-month pregnant assistant who insisted on straightening his tie.

"His name is Castiel Novak, He's the one who decides which charities will benefit from the Novak fortune each year..."

"I know Becky, I read the file," he told her sharply as she continued to ramble off more information that Sam already knew.

The phone on her desk rang and Sam took the opportunity to get out of her reach. She answered and he waved goodbye hurrying to the main door.

"Oh, crap!"

Her exclamation made him pause and turn back to look at her.

"Dean's here."

* * *

His brother was dressed in ripped jeans and a faded Van Halen t-shirt. Appropriate dress for working with dogs, but not for schmoozing with donors. When Dean greeted Sam he could smell the whiskey on his brother's breath, but was slightly relieved to see his green eyes were clear and not glassy as they would be if he was drunk.

e could smell the whiskey on his brother's breath, but was slightly relieved to see his green eyes were clear and not glassy as they would be if he was drunk.

Unfortunately it seemed that Dean had already introduced himself to Castiel Novak and was insisting that he should be the one to show the potential donor around the ranch. Sam studied the Novak heir and felt his heart sink. The man was impeccably dressed and was eying Dean's clothing with obvious distaste. Dean was acting in an overly familiar way, bumping shoulders and winking at the guy.

Great. His tipsy brother was hitting on Castiel Novak.

"Sammy, you should go meet with Kevin. He's dropping off Loki and having a little trouble," Dean told him, waving his hand dismissively.

"I'd be happy to Dean, I just need to show Mr. Novak around first," he said firmly.

Sam watched in horror as Dean slung an arm around Castiel's shoulders.

"Go deal with Kevin, I'll show Cas around," he insisted and pulled the bewildered guy toward the office.

Sam sighed in defeat. Oh well, surely they would find other donors.

He headed to the kennels, overdressed in his suit and tie. Kevin Tran was kneeling on the ground with his arms wrapped around a golden retriever.

"Hey Kev, you okay?" Sam asked the teen cautiously.

He looked up and nodded, but a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"You really did a great job with Loki. Best of the group. Thanks to your extra in-depth training, it shouldn't take as long for him to get ready for his new job," Sam said with extra enthusiasm.

Kevin nodded again, and then buried his face in Loki's coat and let out a sob. The dog turned and licked his cheek. Sam felt his eyes sting slightly as he watched the exchange. The high-school program was incredibly successful and the kids were always very glad they participated, but the moment when they had to say goodbye to their four-legged friends were never easy on any of them.

Sam knelt and placed a comforting hand on Kevin's back.

"I know that it's hard to say goodbye, but at least you know he'll be safe and well cared for. You have to go to college in a few weeks anyway. It's not like you can take him with you," Sam pointed out, gently.

"You promise you'll give him to somebody good?" Kevin asked in a hoarse voice.

Sam smiled and nodded.

"I swear that Loki will only go to the best person possible," he promised.

Kevin took a breath and nodded.

Sam had barely got Loki settled in his new kennel when he heard the shouting. Groaning, he hurried outside and jogged toward the main office. Castiel Novak was marching toward his car with a murderous expression on his face. Sam was about to hurry after him when Dean suddenly appeared.

"We don't want your stupid money anyway!"

Sam had to physically restrain his brother who was trying to run after the fleeing man.

"No Dean, just-"

"We don't need his money," Dean insisted, and crossed his arms like a petulant child.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Okay Dean. Let's go."

"No, we have to work..."

"The work day is over. The cemetery is only open for a few more hours. We need to go."

Dean deflated, but nodded and allowed Sam to steer him toward the parking lot.

A couple of hours later the brothers leaned against their father's headstone while sharing a bottle Jack. Neither of them had said a word after toasting the first drink to their father.

"We needed his money didn't we?" Dean suddenly asked in a small voice.

Sam shrugged and took another drink.

"Maybe not."

Dean nodded and took his turn.

"He was probably a cat guy anyway."

Sam snorted.

"Sammy?"

"Yes Dean?"

"He was hot, cat guy."

Sam laughed then and sobered as he studied the date of death carved into his dad's head stone. Sam remembered that date had come in the middle of the most hectic exam week of his unfinished college career. Looking back on how crazy he had been that week, he almost understood why Jessica hadn't told him... almost.

* * *

 _They were half way to Kansas before Sam asked Dean about their dad._

 _Dean nearly drove off the road._

 _"What? What do you mean 'how's dad'?" He demanded._

 _Sam just looked at him in confusion._

 _"He died last year!"_

 _Sam felt like someone had punch him in the stomach._

 _"What?! Dad died, and you didn't tell me?!"_

 _They had to wait through a coughing attack during which Sam heard Dean cussing under his breath._

 _"You mean to tell me, that that... that Jess, never told you?" Dean asked in quiet disbelief._

 _Sam shook his head, vigorously._

 _Dean let out a laugh devoid of humor and focused back on the road._

 _"She didn't tell you about any of my calls, did she?"_

 _Sam blinked. It was too much._

 _"Don't do this Dean. Don't lie to me about her... I can't..." he trailed off and turned away to look out the window._

 _Dean sighed._

 _"Christmas, your birthday, Mom's... every time I called she answered your phone. I assumed you just didn't want to talk to me. I never thought..." He trailed off at Sam's stricken look._

 _"I loved her Dean. She loved me too, and now she's gone," he whispered, surprised to feel more tears slipping from his eyes. Sam had cried so much in the last few days he didn't think he would have any left._

 _Dean didn't respond, but took the next exit and pulled into the parking lot of an all-night diner. He killed the ignition and they sat in silence for a moment._

 _"You know how I felt about her, Sam. But even now that I know she didn't tell you about my calls, I still wouldn't wish her dead. People make mistakes all the time, but if she really did love you or better yet if you really loved her then she couldn't have been all bad. I'm sorry that's she gone."_

 _Sam stared at his folded hands and nodded._

 _"Right. Well, I don't know about you, but I need some coffee if we want to reach Kansas tonight," Dean said and hauled himself out of the car._

 _Sam waited a moment, then followed. Despite everything he found himself absurdly glad that things were okay between him and Dean. It felt as if he had been going through life crooked, seeing the world from an odd angle, and now everything was perfectly straight again. He took a deep breath, and this time he didn't cough._

* * *

He continued his silent contemplation of John Winchester's tombstone while Dean finished the bottle.

"You called me the day after Jess and I left for California. I was still mad and didn't want to talk to you. So I handed her my phone and walked away. You called again a few weeks later and she asked if I wanted her to deal with you. I agreed. And then she quit asking. I trusted her to tell me if there was something I needed to know, but she chose not to. I'm sorry, Dean." Sam's voice was little more than a whisper, but he could tell Dean heard him by how tense his brother had become.

Dean dug a new bottle out, took a swig and passed to Sam. He took a drink and grimaced -tequila.

"Jess loved you, Sam. I don't know why she kept the calls from you, but we both know she thought she was doing the right thing..."

"But you were alone, Dean! You had to pick out this headstone, and arrange the funeral and do all those hard things by yourself when I could have been there-" Sam broke of to choke back a sob.

Dean sighed and moved closer to Sam so he could place a hand on his shoulder.

"Sammy, I wasn't alone. I had friends. Bobby and Ellen, Charlie, Jo, hell, even Chuck and Becky were there to help. I'm not saying it was easy, or that I wasn't hoping you would show up. And as far as actual decisions, they had mostly all been made a few years earlier when Dad first started getting sick. To be honest, his passing was a relief."

"I still should have been there," Sam said, unable to keep back the tears any longer.

Dean was quiet for a long moment.

"Yes, you should have. But there's nothing we can do about that now. I believe Dad is in a better place where he has better vision than us, is in no pain, and spends all his time with Mom," Dean announced.

Sam nodded and tried to smile through his tears.

"And I can't speak for them, but I forgive you, Sam. I forgave Jess a long time ago, and I'm so glad you're here now."

"Thanks Dean. I'm glad I'm here now too... And I forgive you for scaring off that billionaire donor today."

Dean groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Those damn eyes are going to haunt me forever," he bemoaned.

Sam chuckled and wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

They remained quiet until they heard the soft rumble of Bobby's truck pulling into the parking lot behind them. They staggered to their feet and Dean poured the rest of the tequila onto the ground in front of the headstone. Then they leaned against each other and headed for the truck already dreading the hangovers to come.

End

* * *

A/N: vThanks so much for reading, I hope I didn't scare anyone off. The next chapter will be posted this weekend and will include the meeting of Gabe & Sam and hopefully a lot of humor. It will also be a back & forth between Gabe's pov and Sam's pov.

Til then take care,

Ilsa

PS: Reviews help me write faster.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Sparks of Light

Summary:

Gabe decides to check out what Winchester Ranch has to offer. He finds himself instantly drawn to Sam Winchester while Dean and Cas... attempt to work out their differences. Gabe makes a special connection and a decision that might just help with his situation.

Notes:

Thank you so much to everyone who had reviewed and left kudos. I know the last chapter was pretty dark with some hard-to-swallow stuff... Anyway, we are moving beyond the past now, and my aim for this chapter is humor. So, I hope you enjoy...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Dazzling Darkness

Chapter Three: Sparks of Light

* * *

Gabriel tried to be on his best behavior for Castiel, but it was getting old. He hated being a burden to his brother, but he didn't like being his brother's 'project' either. Castiel constantly insisted on discussing things to make his 'transition into the darkness' easier. From special tech to outfit the house to the possibility of getting a service dog, despite that Gabriel had already vetoed that idea. Castiel was not taking Gabriel's wishes into account and had insisted on checking out that Winchester Ranch place.

Gabriel had had enough. He waited for Castiel to return from his appointment ready to argue. To his surprise, Castiel rushed through the door flustered and angry. He headed straight for Gabriel's liquor.

"You were right, Gabe. You don't need a service dog, it was a stupid idea. We'll get you a cane."

Unfortunately for Castiel, Gabriel was still feeling contrary and was now very curious as to what could have ruffled his brother so much.

"I don't know, Cassie, I'm starting to think a dog might be a good idea," he said, doing his best to keep a straight face.

"What? You have been completely against the idea from the beginning! What changed your mind?" Castiel demanded suspiciously.

Gabriel shrugged. "I don't know. You have been pretty gung-ho on the idea from the beginning. What changed your mind?"

Castiel remained quiet as he stared at him and not for the first time Gabriel wished it was bright enough that he could see his brother's expression.

"It's the owner, Dean Winchester. The man is an unprofessional, drunkard!"

Gabe snorted.

"And... I'm pretty sure he made a pass at me," Castiel admitted quietly sounding confused at the idea that it could be true.

Gabriel laughed out loud at that.

"Okay, now we have to go back!"

"What? Gabe, no!" Castiel protested.

"Cassie, my life is changing quickly and it's important that I diligently research every option available to make things as easy as possible for both of us," he insisted.

Castiel huffed, obviously not buying Gabriel's fake sincerity.

"Fine. I'll call and make us an appointment tomorrow, but I'm going to insist on meeting with Sam, Dean's brother. He seemed much more professional," Castiel said with a sniff.

"Oh yeah? Is he hot?"

Gabriel didn't need to see to know that Castiel was glaring at him.

"C'mon Cassie! You got Dean, it's only fair I get the brother," Gabriel teased.

Though Castiel turned defiant and uppity about Dean, the air between the brothers became more relaxed as they continued to bicker and pick on each other.

* * *

Sam straightened his tie and poked his head out of his office.

"Good to go?" He asked Becky who didn't seem to want to leave her chair today. It was odd, but he was relieved to not have to deal with her wandering hands.

She nodded.

"Dean and Bobby left for lunch ten minutes ago, and Mr. Novak just pulled up to the gate."

Sam sighed with relief and gave his assistant a genuine smile.

To say he had been shocked when Castiel Novak called him yesterday wanting to meet again had been an understatement.

* * *

 _"Of course I'd be willing to meet with you Mr. Novak."_

 _"Thanks... this is Sam Winchester, correct?" The gravely voice demanded._

 _"Uh, yes sir."_

 _"Good. Your brother... I'd rather he not be around for this meeting."_

 _Castiel's bluntness prickled a bit, but Sam understood the man's concern._

 _"Right, I am sorry about that sir. Yesterday was-"_

 _"It's fine. I just don't want to deal with him directly unless I have to."_

 _"Of course."_

 _"I'll be bringing my brother, Gabriel, this time. He is the one that is interested in your program anyway."_

 _"Oh?" Sam had not known that Castiel had a brother._

 _"Yes. He has Retinitis pigmentosa."_

 _There was a beat of silence._

 _"I'm not familiar with that condition." Sam admitted._

 _"It is an inherited, degenerative eye disease that causes severe vision impairment due to the progressive degeneration of the rod photoreceptor cells in the retina."_

 _Sam remained quiet and Castiel sighed._

 _"Basically, my brother has slowly been going blind for the past ten years. He is now legally blind and probably only has another year or so before he will be completely without his sight. I am attempting to get things ready so that the transition is as smooth as possible. At times he tends to be... resistant to my help."_

 _"Wow, that's uh, that's gotta be tough on both of you."_

 _"It hasn't been easy," Castiel confessed._

 _"Well, I'm sure one of our dogs can really help improve the quality of his life."_

 _"That is what I am hoping."_

 _"Well, how about you come by tomorrow at noon? I can make sure that my brother has lunch off-site," Sam offered._

 _"That is acceptable. We will see you then."_

* * *

"Thanks Becky. I could not have pulled this off without you," he said and frowned when she started to cry.

She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose. "Sorry Sam, it's the hormones. Don't worry about me, I'm fine," she assured him with a watery smile.

"Okay, but you should think about taking the rest of the day off. You look like you need some rest and you've more than earned it," he told her kindly and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She looked at his hand ecstatic he was touching her of his own volition and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, maybe I should. It won't be long now and I'll be wishing for the opportunity to have an afternoon nap," Becky admitted rubbing her swollen stomach.

Both smiles dropped off of their faces when they heard the tale-tell rumble of the Impala's engine. Dean was back early.

"Well, crap on a cracker!"

Sam exchanged a panicked look with her before hurrying to intercept the Novak brothers before Dean saw them.

"Mr. Novak, Thank you so much for coming back. If you wouldn't mind heading into that building, my assistant Becky can provide you with some refreshments and pamphlets."

Castiel Novak frowned up at him as he helped his brother out of the car.

"I thought our meeting was with you?"

Sam nodded and looked around, wondering where Dean was.

"It is. It just seems that my brother's lunch meeting was cut short and I want to make sure we won't have any problems like last time," he explained as delicately as he could.

Castiel paled and his brother chuckled capturing Sam's attention. Gabriel Novak was almost half a foot shorter than his brother with shaggy dirty blonde hair, honey colored eyes, and crooked smile so sexy that Sam's mouth actually dropped open at the sight of it.

Castiel was not paying attention as he hurried to usher his brother into the building that Sam had indicated. Gabriel winked as he allowed Castiel to guide him away, but surely he couldn't see Sam... or maybe he could?

Sam cleared his throat.

"I'll be there in a few minutes," he called to their backs.

* * *

"Did ya see? We had a moment!" Gabriel crowed as Sam's assistant rushed to get them drinks.

He could almost see Castiel's scowl as he was led to a cushy chair.

"You did not 'have a moment'. You couldn't even see him and he was too busy keeping an eye out for his neanderthal brother to notice you," Castiel insisted.

"Gabe, please don't embarrass me or him," he begged and Gabriel sighed.

"Fine, he wasn't much more than a tall blur, but I still felt something," he insisted, crossing his arms.

Becky suddenly rushed back into the room red faced and panting like she had just run a marathon.

"Here you are," she said thrusting some cold Diet Dr. Peppers at them. Castiel took both bottles and opened Gabriel's before handing it to him.

"So Mrs. Shurley, how long have you worked for Winchester Ranch?" Castiel asked and Becky immediately began to talk their ears off. Apparently she had gone to high school with Sam and had met her husband through Dean. It seemed the Winchester Ranch was a tight-knit 'family-run' place.

As she rambled, they could hear muffled arguing coming from outside the office. Unfortunately for Sam, Dean was loud and his voice began to overpower Becky's. Dean was ranting about Castiel. It seemed the man took issue with everything about Castiel from the car he drove to the clothes he wore.

Castiel seethed with every new complaint, but Gabriel kept nodding and nudging his brother playfully.

"He's got ya there, Cassie, it is definitely a bit warm for a trench coat..."

"Shut-up," Castiel hissed at his brother, but Gabriel just chuckled.

"He's right, your hair is pretty stupid!"

Becky made a choked sound, obviously trying to hold back a laugh, and excused herself to the restroom gesturing to her pregnant belly.

Meanwhile Dean continued to rant, Gabriel continued to laugh and Castiel sat unnaturally still trying to hold himself back, but when he heard the word, homophobic, he jumped up from his seat and wrenched the door open.

A second later he pulled a startled Sam into the office and pointed at Gabriel.

"Look after my brother for a moment," he said through clenched teeth and then turned and slammed the office door.

Another muffled argument started, though Dean's voice was lower in volume this time and couldn't be understood through the closed door. Their was no mistaking the deep, but controlled rumbling of Castiel's voice as well.

Gabriel couldn't take it anymore, he tilted his head back and let out a loud laugh that had his whole body shaking.

* * *

"Are you laughing? You think this is funny?" Sam demanded, though it was impossible not to smile when faced with such joy.

Gabriel had to take a moment to calm down and sip his drink.

Sam handed him a napkin to wipe away the tears that had slipped out.

"Ahh, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time," he confided, wiping his face.

"Mr, Novak-" he began.

"Call me Gabe."

"Okay, Gabe. Why are you laughing so hard?"

"Oh, it's not really that funny, I guess. Just my brother is the most calm, put-together, impossible to ruffle man I've ever met in my life, and two encounters with your brother seems to have shaken his whole world."

Sam chuckled and sat down in Becky's chair.

"I have to admit that Dean can be obnoxious, but your brother seems to inspire a whole new level of it in him."

"Ten bucks says they'll be necking like teenagers by the end of the day," Gabe said, pulling a bill out of his pocket and slapping it on the desk in front of Sam.

"Uh, Gabe? This is a hundred dollar bill."

"Eh, whatever. What do ya say?"

"Well, I think it's pretty clear that they really dislike each other..."

"Yes, passionately. And where there's passion..." Gabe trailed of and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Sam felt a flash of heat at Gabe's expression and looked away blushing.

"Well, I don't have a hundred dollars to throw away on a bet..."

"Fine, if you win you get the money and If I win you let me take you to dinner."

Sam's pulse quickened and he licked his lips.

"Deal, but if I win you have to let me spend that money on you," he insisted.

Gabriel's smile lit up the whole room as he thrust his hand forward to shake on it.

* * *

It was bright enough outside that Gabriel could have walked around just fine without assistance, but Sam didn't know that and Gabe had no intention of telling him.

After shaking on their bet the two men had left the office to find their now silent brothers locked in what looked like a staring contest.

"Dean, the office is free for you guys to continue your... discussion. Probably better to do it behind closed doors so you don't freak out the employees," he said, indicating a small audience of soon to be high school students.

Gabe snorted at the 'do it behind closed doors' remark and tightened his grip on Sam's arm.

"Sam is going to show me around the place while you two... settle your differences," he said with a smug smile and let Sam lead him away.

They chuckled as they walked down to the kennels. Sam began what was obviously a rehearsed speech explaining the kennels and training processes that they used. He kept lifting his arm to point things out that Gabe had no chance of possibly seeing. Gabe was unable to stop the flash of sadness from showing on his face and Sam immediately realized the problem.

"So, I guess you can't really see that far can you?"

Gabriel shrugged like it didn't matter.

"I see small blurry shapes that I assume are the dogs. And blurs of blue-shirted people interacting with them. I smell the dogs, not pleasant, but not as bad as I thought it would be. I hear their barks and the whistles and praises of the trainers."

"So you can still see colors?"

Gabriel's face clouded over and his jaw tightened. He deliberately took a deep breath and let it out.

"I can't talk about colors, Sam. It hurts too much," he said softly and was pleasantly surprised when Sam pulled him into a hug.

Gabriel barely had time to react before Sam suddenly pulled away.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to overstep... you just looked so sad," Sam tried to explain, clearly embarrassed.

Gabe gave him a dazzling smile that made him weak in the knees.

"It's alright, Sam. I remember what I look like and I know the affect I have on people," he teased and waggled his eyebrows again.

"I'm sure you just couldn't help yourself."

Sam laughed and took Gabe's arm again to lead him into the kennels.

He introduced several of the dogs, but it was Loki that won Gabriel's heart. The dog was the youngest and would need more training before he was ready, but as the dog licked the back of Gabriel's hand causing a wonder-filled smile to erupt across his face, Sam vowed then and there he would train Loki himself if that's what it took to get the dog ready. Gabe went down on one knee and leaned his head against the dog's side.

"I like this one. He doesn't stink at all."

* * *

A few minutes later they returned to the main office hoping their brothers were finished arguing. They were almost to the office when Gabe suddenly stilled and cocked his head to the side.

"Do you hear that?" He asked and motioned for Sam to continue leading him down the hall back toward the office.

"I don't hear anything... wait,"

There was a smacking sound and suddenly a loud thud that came from the other side of the closed office door.

Sam pulled it open to find Cas and Dean passionately kissing.

His jaw dropped in shock and he was startled to feel Gabe's hand on his face.

"What? Why has your jaw dropped?" He demanded.

"Shit!" Dean cursed and pulled away from Cas.

"This isn't what it looks like..." Castiel said, a bit breathlessly.

"What?! What does it look like?!" Gabriel demanded.

"Um, it seems our brothers are getting along now..." Sam said, slowly.

"I've got to go." Dean tossed over his shoulder as he fled.

Cas sat heavily in one of the chairs and dropped his head in his hands.

"They were making out, weren't they?" Gabe demanded with a smug smile.

"Yep."

"Alright! Go Cassie!" He yelled pumping his fist in the air.

Cas just groaned.

"Well, what time are you picking me up for dinner?" He asked Sam, beaming.

End Chapter 3

Notes:

So this is the last chapter that I have had beta'd. I'm in search of someone to help beta/collaborate on the final chapters. Depending on how fast I can set this up will determine the posting date of the next chapter. If you are interested please leave a note here or email me ricksilsalund gmailcom


End file.
